MARRIAGE: A GIFT, OR A TARGET?

The ripple effect. We’ve all seen it. Most of us have thrown a rock or a pebble in a lake. We’ve watched the waves pushing out from the centre of impact, where the rock first hit the surface of the still water. The rock hits, causing a seemingly endless rush of waves outward. Pushing and distorting the calm waters around it. Sometimes it seems like the waves never end. The size of the rock directly affects the number of ripples and the size of the waves.

This note is for my married friends, for those who will marry soon, or for anyone whoever plans to marry. Marriage is a gift. God gave this gift to us with the idea of two people giving themselves to each other. In every way. It is God’s way of allowing us to express our passions, happiness, hurts, and struggles with the one person He has set before us. The person who is to be our confidant. Someone who commits to be there, regardless of life’s issues. As the phrase goes, ‘in good times and bad, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, till death due us part’. What a gift. What a blessing. The single greatest gift besides God sending His only Son to die for us. Earthly marriage is just a sample of the marriage that we will have once we are taken to heaven with Him. We are His bride. Waiting to be carried across the threshold of Heaven’s gate. The single most amazing event of our life.

With that said, when a marriage is working the way God intended, the spiritual growth possibilities are endless. The example we are able to share with our kids, or the example we are able to give our friend about to be married; or like the couple who has been married for many years, the example of love, patience, and selflessness, that so many other younger couples, my wife and I included, can learn from. When our kids see their parents loving each other and being each others strength, it shows them what God’s love truly looks like on a tangible level. No, it’s not the extent of God’s love, but it is a great view.

When our kids and friends see the positive events in our marriage, it serves as encouragement to them. Encouragement to live for God. To see what God has given their parents or their friends. When a marriage is working the way God intends it to, many other things begin to happen. When others see what God is doing in our lives, it presents multiple opportunities and desires for one to seek God further. Hence, the ripple effect. The positive influence of a God lead marriage has endless waves. It begins to implant an idea that makes them want more from God. What that looks like, well, that picture is enormous. Only God can see the hole view. We can only view the smaller parts that we see day to day. The daily choices to live for God can lead them into God events for years to come. Allowing them to experience God in so many different ways and in so many different places. The end result of this, we will not know until He calls us home. Until the day we cross the threshold of Heaven’s gate. But what we can see, are the little ways God moves in their live’s. After all, it is up to our children to carry the Cross to the next generation; a task that is much easier for them to do, if they are given a strong foundation to start from.

All that is just a small idea of the ripple effect of a healthy marriage. Of course, with some reservations. Not all healthy marriages produce children who make good choices. It is up to each child and every individual person to choose to live for Him. Those are the choices that are daily made or daily forsaken. With that said, what about those who choose to daily forsake the choice to live for God? Why do they do it? I could speculate, but there are far to many reasons, influences, or excuses to really be able to say for sure. The only sure thing, is that where there is a ‘healthy’ marriage, or a couple who choose to live for God, there is a huge target. We have a common enemy. This is not a new concept. This enemy has lived longer than any of us. He has had years to attempt to ‘perfect’ his attack. His deviation of marriage. His sabotage.

Satan works night and day to tear apart what God has brought together. His lies and deceit have run their course in our world from the beginning of time. Starting with Adam and Eve. The day the world fell. His work of constantly feeding lies to the children of God. The children that have already been freed from his curse. Unfortunately, God’s children, myself included, tend to forget that we are free from this curse. The curse that is on our earth. As a result, among many other issues, marriages around the world are constantly under attack. I think because of history, Satan knows when a marriage fails, many other repercussions follow. Kids become bitter, hateful, hurt, and shamed. All of which directly influence their decisions to live for God. It may not completely deter them, but it is definitely a road block to growth and to seeing what God really wants to do with them.

In the past few years, my wife and I have witnessed marriage after marriage being attacked and targeted. Martial issues are not a new problem. They have plagued our world since creation. The most prominent marriage issue I remember from the Bible was the affair between David and Bathsheba. David and Bathsheba’s affair was just one example in the Bible of a couple that believed the lies of the enemy. The Bible says that David was a man after God’s own heart. Take a minute and think about what God could have done with/through him if that had never happened. Yes, because of their affair, we are given examples of God’s mercy, love, and forgiveness that we may not have otherwise, but what if it had just never happened? What would David’s reign as king have looked like? How could it have been different? He bought into the lies of the enemy, and his entire kingdom suffered because of it. Again, the ripple effect. These examples are lived over and over again in society today. Why is it though, that seemingly more and more believers are buying into the deceit and manipulation of an enemy that has already been conquered?

This entire piece is being written because within the past year and a bit, my eyes have been opened to a problem that is plaguing our churches. A problem that is there, but it is still so taboo. By why? I am starting to loose count of how many couples, good couples, with good intentions, who are struggling in their marriages. My wife and I have certainly dealt with, and continue to deal with some issues, that only because of God’s grace, we have survived. In our small, private lives, we have become aware of a number of couples who have and are struggling to survive and to see God’s fulness in their marriage. If this is what we are seeing, what aren’t we seeing? We are only two people. But in our church alone there are many couples. Many couples whose lives we don’t see into. I realize that not everyone has the same difficulties, but we all fight. We all have events in life that challenge our faith and our marriages. I also realize that not everyone is comfortable wearing their marital problems on their shoulder; I would dare say that some problems shouldn’t be worn on the shoulder, but should be dealt with in the privacy of a counsellor’s office, or a pastor’s office. But I wonder, if we were more open about our struggles and battles, what could we do for each other? What could God do with couples that were willing to ‘let it all out’?

To my friends, and you know who you are, that right now are struggling in your marriage, I embrace you. I love you. I’m sorry you are in pain. I stand beside you and behind you. I can tell you from my own personal experience that nothing, absolutely nothing, no sin, no hurt, no pain, can keep you from what God truly wants for you. I am still to this day, and to the day I die searching for what God truly wants for me and my wife. If I stop looking, if I sit down and stop fighting to make my marriage what it should be, then the enemy has won. My son and unborn baby will suffer. My family will suffer. My church will suffer. No, I will not fight for the things of this earth. That is just futile. But when I know that my battles today directly or indirectly influence the path of my son and unborn child, I recognize that I have no choice. I need to keep moving forward. You need to keep moving forward. After all, God sent His only Son, to DIE for us. Don’t we at least owe Him this? To keep fighting for Him?

One last note. I truly believe that something on a God scale is happening in our world, and our enemy recognizes it. Because of this, he is and will continue to attack and deter us in anyway possible. I believe our world is on the verge of a new horizon. A world revival. It has already started in countries most of us have never been to, and will never go. God wants to revive North American believers. We have become stagnant, apathetic, and scared to the point that we can’t feel anymore. I have to wonder, I can’t help but wonder, what are you willing to allow God to do, in order to make your marriage what it needs to be and what it should be? What are you willing to do, in order to see what God meant your marriage to be from the beginning, or in order to experience what God wants to do in our world? It could be painful. It could be dangerous. It could be awesome!!

REDEMPTION-Peruvian Style

Well, we are coming into our last few days of our missionary support trip in Peru, and all I can say is, amazing. I continue to struggle with a lot of the things I've witnessed again and the differences in culture as compared to what I've grown up in. I won't say that it has been culture shock, because nothing is really new to me this time around. What I will say is that compared to my last trip down here, I have witnessed many different God movements that I would not have necessarily noticed last time. To see 'the Oasis' completed, compared to last time when it was only about half way finished, was an emotional experience in itself. To witness first hand what can be done when God's people unite their hearts and minds to one purpose. Serving God in whatever form that comes. To see a school/care center that is fully functional when only a few years before, was just a large plot of land that otherwise would be the home of a people desperate to survive on minimal amounts of food and minimal income. Something that most North Americans will never and have never experienced.

Today we went to a church in Manchay, full of the people that directly surround it. People that have so little, except that by God's loving hand of mercy and kindness, have everything at the same time. These same people would not have a place to worship together like this if it was not for the love of God in the hearts and souls of thousands of Christians who have answered to God's voice. I can't describe it. I didn't even get any pictures to show you. Maybe on purpose, maybe by accident, maybe by God's prompting not to take my camera. If you want to see it, maybe you should go down there and witness it for yourself. No words alone can or ever will give you a clear enough picture to see what I've seen, what I've witnessed here. To see a people that so genuinely love God and daily rely on Him for provision. Yes, thats right, daily!!

I strongly feel that the majority of North American christians have forgotten what is it like to 'daily' rely on God's provision. Most of us have jobs that help to pay our bills, put a house over our heads, and food on our plates. Our jobs also pay a lot more over all than most of the jobs here in Peru. Adults, teenagers, children all work together here to afford food for their families. My four year old son has no idea what work is. He won't know the first thing about selling a little toy, tricket, or candy on the street. I pray that he won't know what that type of work is until he is a lot older. He needs to be able to be a kid first. Yesterday in downtown Lima, a nine year old boy was trying so desperately to sell me candy or toys I didn't want or need. He just wanted to make that one sale and then move on. I could have bought something from him. I could have helped him and his family out by purchasing a chocolate bar, but would that have really solved his problems? Even if he had an idea of what would permentantly solve his problems, would that really have been the answer he was looking for?

Over the past few years since my last trip down here, I have struggled many times to see where in the world God's hand of love and mercy has been. I get frustrated, angry, and discouraged when I hear of and see the oppression of our world. I wonder at times where God is. Why He seemingly isn't doing what He promises in His word. The Bible says that He takes care of the sparrows so He will definitely take care of His children if we trust Him to, but why does it seem that more people are starving and dying? Or why does it seem as if more people are suffering oppression due to a lack of proper governing over their countries? Why does this all seem to be happening in such an uncontrollable way? What more can be done? What aren't we doing that we should be doing? Where is God when the world needs Him the most?!

Then I saw Him. I saw the results of His hands. The results of His children being obedient to his voice. I saw my/our brothers and sisters in Christ worshipping Him. The same God we worship and serve. I am not saying that I will never struggle with frustration, anger, and discouragement again, but what I'm saying instead, is that today, along with other days on this trip, God has graciously and freely revealed to me what is it that He has been doing all along. These little pockets of Light are popping up all over the oppressed world we live in. Yes, the world is a very dark place and it doesn't take a genius to see it. Satan and his servants have a strong grip on our world. I think it is very easy for someone to become overwhelmed with the potentially impossible task our God has set out for us; but the idea of trusting God and His sovereignty has been confirmed over and over again to me this time. He allowed/called me to come on this trip so He could show me first hand the fruits of our labour.

All this being said, I can't tell you what to do. I can't force you to do it. Only God can prompt you. If you have felt convicted by something God has inspired me to say in this note, please, don't hesitate to act on it. God's not going to call you or convict you to do something and then not be there with you the hole way along. He doesn't do that. I have been forced to call on God for strenght and help numerous times in the past couple weeks, and I know that I will only have to call on Him more. This is the way He desires us to be. To constantly be in a position that we will always need Him and His hands of love and mercy. The same way that many people in a poverty stricken Peru are forced to call out to Him daily for help.

Oh yeah, the rest of the story in regards to the nine year old boy. Please see the purpose behind me telling you this portion of the story, because I do not intend in any way to lift myself up. It was only done because of the love, grace, and mercy God has shown me. I took the boy into the restaurant and bought him dinner; immediately after receiving his dinner, he quietly thanked me and took his meal out to his family. Once there he began to share a meal meant for one with his family of at least four. What an example this child set for me. What an example this child sets for all of us who have more than we need.